Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Peek into my mind

Foreword: I’m often thinking about so many things, little ones and large ones, even big complex questions yet surprisingly simple and abstract, my thoughts are racing way faster than you could even read the following words, where I tried to capture some of my thought processes into a written form and share them with you, so you get a small preview of what’s going on in my head, although it might be a bit difficult to follow, as text is very linear form, meaning I have to talk about things one after another, while in head, I can think about multiple things at once.

I’ve got a question: Do you sometimes get detached from yourself?

Do you realize how ridiculous everyday behavior might seem, how ridiculous it is even to think of a concept of ridiculous in the conceptual realm where these feelings and emotions and concepts have no sense, where they’re just a specific responses of our brains to certain data. Or how meaningless... That everything is essentially meaningless, there's no concept of good or bad, that's all that we, locked inside of our minds, think of, because of the particular arrangement of certain amount of mass, we are able to think about things and conceptualize them, but that's just one particular way of representing information, which seems to make sense to us for some reason, which makes us feel in a certain way, but it's just a response of the neural network that forms our brain to particular stimuli, even the one accumulated over time in form of memories and various learned behavior and associations…

Doesn't it just feel weird?

And how funny it is, that our brains, which basically represent and house our minds, which are used to read and understand and write these words, which themselves are representations of some internal mental models of various things and concepts and basically just a not very effective transfer medium to describe the internal concept and evoke similar mental concept in others, that our brains are capable of understanding the concept of the way they work themselves on various levels of abstraction, basically a network so complex that it's capable of understanding its own function, but the understanding is nothing more than a particular order of electric signals within the network itself, which might seem just a gibberish to others, everything we do, think, say and perceive could be potentially gibberish, yet it just makes sense to us and we feel it's natural, normal, the only way, but it's not.

And when you think about it, why can't some other models exist some other ways of representing the information and if they did, would they perceive it "internally" the same way we do, although it would be represented in an entirely different way, but the system would be made in a way that it can process and "understand" the information in the given form.

Meaning, could the computer for example have consciousness? And perceive something? How does it perceive it? If you make a picture, which is nothing more than particular data, how will it perceive that? A computer program that processes the image data doesn't have to know or have any understanding of what it actually means, it's just doing some discrete transformations on the data, from one form to another, just a series of impulses and numbers, while our brains contain neural paths that process the visual signals from the eyes, detect movement and objects and make this information available to the other parts of our brain. Are these visual processing parts "dead"? Not part of your consciousness but only a mere filters that transform one form of information into another that for some reason makes sense to the rest of the network? Which parts of the neural network are even responsible for our consciousness? Why do we even have qualia? Doesn't it bother you?

It bothers me often, I can't stop thinking about it, thinking about things that are and that are happening and the processes that are taking place and thinking of them detached from myself, abstracting them and then diving into details of them, of the whole universe or at least our own models of it, the way we perceive it or at least that I perceive it and realize that things are happening in parallel, everything is happening at once, even there where you're not.

Even your own brain is an insanely parallel system with a lot of various parts that are working independently, just sharing information, they're working separately, yet we perceive it as one, because of the information sharing, but where does actually lie the center of our conscious minds? What if you split it? What if you replaced it?

I think I got a little bit carried away with my thoughts (then again that happens quite often with me, as I have extremely difficult time to cease thinking, analyzing, examining, associating and of course observing, all at once, all the time) so I’m sorry for that.

Then again, I don't have to be sorry, do I? That's just one of our specific concepts we use in communication, it seems so silly sometimes. I have no idea why, but everything we do just seems so weird... Even the concept of weird and the words we use to describe it seems just... kinda alien.

I can't stop thinking about all things that are taking place and how they work and realizing what we are and what everything is and knowing how much I'm still missing from this virtual representation model of the universe in my head.

I guess I just gave you a small peek into my mind and what's happening in it. If you wish to see more, don’t hesitate to talk to me.


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